I Want to Fit In

Politically Incorrect Social Studies

Guitar Hero Commandments

Posted by iwanttofitin on April 17, 2007

These are not suggestions, these are the Guitar Hero commandments! Join and spread them throughout mankind.

1. Do not talk to someone while they are playing Guitar Hero. Seriously, it’s hard enough to hit all the f_____g notes and now I have to hold a conversation?

2. Do not walk in front of people playing Guitar Hero. No matter how good you think I am, I’m going to miss the notes that I can’t see.

3. Do not sit down while playing Guitar Hero. Have you ever seen Jimi Hendrix rock out while sitting down? You can’t rock unless you’re standing.

4. Do not stand like a girl while playing Guitar Hero. When on stage have you seen a guitarist stand duckfooted with his feet together? You are supposed to be a GUITAR HERO not a GUITAR PUSSY. (Exception: When going for a high score you are allowed to stand as rigid as needed to concentrate.)

5. Do not pause Guitar Hero in the middle of a song. So what if your phone rings, there’s a cool invention called a VOICE MAILBOX.

6. If you are hitting more than 90% of the notes on medium, MOVE UP TO HARD. There’s nothing like being beaten by someone on medium and having them feel all special. If you’re too afraid to use the orange then STOP PLAYING THIS GAME.

7. Always play Guitar Hero with the sound on max. How can you play the song when you can’t even hear it over the clicking of the strumming? If your roommate or parents don’t like it, kick them out like a rock star would.

8. Do not sing while watching people play Guitar Hero. The words are already in there, you’re just f_____g us up.

9. Stop talking about your friend that can beat Jordon on expert. Everyone’s seen it on youtube, and no one gives a shit about your mythical friend.

10. Stop choosing the same song over and over. We all know someone who finally gets their turn and then chooses something long and annoying like Sweet Child of Mine EVERY TIME. It’s a good song, but after the 500th time it makes us want to beat you with the guitar.

11. Thou shalt not use a dual shock controller!

12. If a newbie isn’t deploying start power, you have every right to shout at them to rock the guitar neck straight up in the air. Because hey, how are they going to get any better? You didn’t get awesome by sucking.

3 Responses to “Guitar Hero Commandments”

  1. Catie said

    did you make these up? because it’s creepy how close to home they come to my own life.

  2. Jimmy said

    These rules speak to me my friend. There’s nothing I hate more than a Guitar Pussy.

  3. Leslie said

    tell Ricky #3

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