I Want to Fit In

Politically Incorrect Social Studies

Get the Most Out of Being Gay

Posted by iwanttofitin on February 15, 2007

Homosexuals have bothered me since I was conceived for many reasons. I don’t have time to list them all here for you, but other than urinating on each other and having sex in holes that are for expelling waste, the one thing that bothers me most is this: If you are a man, why don’t you want the burliest guy you can get? If you are a woman, why don’t you want the most feminine woman you can get? It doesn’t make sense to me. Let’s work this one through.

It seems to me that if you supposedly don’t find the opposite sex attractive, then you would want the most out of your own sex. Correct? The term homosexual means same sex from what I understand. I personally like the females and want a feminine woman, even if she doesn’t think she posses those qualities. She has them, trust me.

To the male homos: If you really want me to believe you are “gay” then please act like a lumberjack or a great white hunter. Something tough. A guy who could kick anyone’s ass without a thought. Not some nancy boy who’s going to slap and cry his way to the police station and file a complaint. And please don’t say, “I may be a ninny, but my boyfriend is tough” You BOTH need to be tough. If you’ve got a flamer for a boyfriend and he’s got makeup on along with black Chanel nail polish, don’t kid yourself-you’re a heterosexual. Get with it and get a lady.

To the female homos: For more believability don’t pull a Rosie or Ellen. Give me Catherine Zeta Jones or even those bimbos from “The Girls Next Door.” Girls that look like girls. The boy haircut, hormones that shrink your boobs, baggy clothing, ughh, I’m not buying it. You’re rebelling against yourself or someone. You know you want a good man. Either be the homosexual version of Barbie and friends or don’t even bother.

What have we learned today? To get the most out of being gay, one must actually be gay. Basically, anyone you’ve ever met who said they were gay, isn’t. They don’t fit what should be the norm for homosexuals.

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18 Responses to “Get the Most Out of Being Gay”

  1. Catie said

    You sure have been writing about a lot of gay things lately.

  2. seneca said

    You have issues.

    This isn’t about gays, it’s about the turmoil within you.

    Normal heterosexuals are not obsessed with gays.

  3. jeny said

    I’m not sure if you’re trying to be funny… but it’s really not.

  4. Smiley said

    Why would a str8 guy waste so much incorrect thoughts on homosexuality?

  5. Catie said

    why would someone spell words with numbers??

    i’m confused…

  6. Blair said

    I’m so with you on this. I have OFTEN pondered these same thoughts among the company of good friends.

  7. Smiley said

    Because it’s the internet, Catie – and it’s a form of widely accepted shorthand 🙂

  8. Bryan said

    As a gay man, I actually agree with much of what you say. I really want a manly man, not some limp wristed, swish-waisted queen. However, you have to understand that many gay men have feminine feelings that find their way into feminine actions. I can’t explain it any clearer than that at the moment. Just like straight men are often attracted to women who are the antithesis of femininity, but are still heterosexual, many gay men and women are attracted to other gay men and women who are not stereotypically butch or fem. It’s all beauty (and sexiness) is in the eye of the beholder. Even though he is quite masculine, I can’t understand why anyone would find Antonio Banderas attractive, but there’s no accounting for taste.

  9. Smiley said

    And, as we can see – gay men can have internalized homophobia, also. Every man I’ve dated has been a man. Nothing effeminate about him. But it bothers me to make judgments like, “limp-wristed, swish-waisted queen.” That my friend, is internalized homophobia – whether you want to admit it or not. But I do agree that beauty and sexiness is in the eye of the beholder. None of this has anything to do with sexual orientation. It has to do with reinforcing negative stereotypes; and futhering the divide between gays and heterosexuals understanding one another 🙂

  10. Catie said

    this is the funniest thing i’ve ever read.

  11. Smiley said

    Well, it’s unfortunate that you find it funny Catie. Perhaps someday you’ll understand – or maybe not. That choice really is yours. Maybe when you grow up some, you can look back on your comments, and those of others – and you’ll get it. It really doesn’t matter to me. I’m in my 50’s, and have already gone through hating myself – and having messages spat at me, similar to this entry. I just thought you guys may want to see a different view. But, I guess I was wrong.

    Cheers

  12. seneca said

    Catie,

    You need to explain yourself more. Your response is similar to name-calling. It cannot be answered and is the trap one falls into when one cannot refute an argument.

    Catie, do you hate gays?

  13. seneca said

    I applaud you for being tolerant of everyone’s posts. Congratulations!

    I myself receive some very mean-spirited comments on my blog, which I, with joy, delete in a nanosecond! However, this thread has not turned mean, but still you let us in!

    Also, thanks for editing my previous post for clarity. Others would not have been so nice.

    By the way, I am a known heterosexual.

    The comedy show “Rowan and Martin’s ‘Laugh-In’ ” once wanted to accuse Richard Nixon of being a “known heterosexual”, but decided not to do so because they thought the public wouldn’t get the joke.

    Mike

  14. Brandon said

    When I think of humans, I generally expect them to use their brains. The brain gives them a unique ability to imagine, yet so many seem to be unable to allow for the possibility that other people experience the world differently.

    Judge not, that thy not be judged. And just let people be…

  15. Judge not, that thy not be judged. And just let people be…

    I’m not sure where you get that from.

  16. Malcolm said

    iwanttofitin,

    Mate, you seem a little confused with your argument. Your labelling people as homosexuals and then saying that these people don’t actually exist. You also happen to believe that you are a prophet that has the divine answer to how homosexuals (the very people you deny exist) should and shouldn’t act, and by stroke of pure genius you also happen to know that all gay men act like nancy boys, and all gay women act butch. I’d like to hear your theories on straight people. Mate, I imagine your a fairly intelligent bloke, but your prejudices are fogging your rationality. You are probably right that some homosexuals are the way they are to rebel, but this is just one reason amongst thousands (this doesn’t necessarily mean there is the one reason-in fact their may be no reason other than biology)-what I’m basically trying to say is that people turn out the way they are and act the way they do for a variety of different reasons, some conscious and some unconscious, but there isn’t one overarching answer, and frankly I don’t really care because being gay doesn’t change whether some one is kind, smart, beautiful, honourable etc.

  17. John M said

    You clearly do not know any homosexuals except the limp-wristed ones that 70s sitcoms brought you on TV. Many gay men nowadays sport Number 1 crops, muscles that would shame any US marine, beards that would shame Hemingway and beefy arms that put any lumberjack to shame. I presume you approve?

    Oh, have you ever heard of ‘bears’? Go google.

    I, too, wonder why some heterosexual females would opt for wimps, limp muscles, geeks and beerguts – but, hey, if we all had the same taste we’d all eat pizza…

  18. cat said

    And why do you think that gay people would give a shit what you think, anyway?

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