I Need Another Drink! Let’s Smoke Some Abortion!

Now, I will show how we must legalize all illegal substances so we may consume them in large quantities and feel good. The legalization of abortion on demand and the allowance of the consumption of alcohol (even the the legality of drunkenness) was the first step in legalizing drug use. It is ridiculous to think that any drug should be illegal based on our present thought on what we can do to our own bodies. Think drug use should be illegal? You shouldn’t. You’ll see your foolishness.

As a caution, I am going to be brutally funny below in ways that could make you sick to your stomach. I’m not kidding at this moment in time. You may feel the need to wet yourself and quit reading all at the same time. You’ve been forewarned.

Starting with an easy thing as alcohol is probably the most proper thing to do. Getting trashed on the weekend can be a fun thing to do. It’s not a personal hobby of mine, but I hear from friends of mine that it is enjoyable.

“We shall acquire some wine on the way to the mall, and then you can get tore up and pass out in the hot sun”

Sometimes they like the fact that they can’t remember the night. Drinking is so embedded in us that we even needed a Constitutional Amendment to ban it. It was and is that important to us. We enjoy it, so let us alone. Right? It took another Amendment to legalize it. That’s a big deal. The Amendment that banned alcohol consumption didn’t even prevent that from happening so we go and legalize it again. Who is the government to tell me what I can and can’t do on my own? Some people abuse their privilege to drink and do it under-age or drive drunk. That’s going to be the case with anything that gets abused. We still have murders, theft, rape, etc. even with the laws against those. But those are different. Those are crimes that affect other people. Getting trashed under my own roof is my right. Stay out of my life.

Abortion is a perceived right by millions of Americans. And why not? It’s a woman’s body and she can do what she wants with it. Keep the baby. Ok. Kill it. Ok. It’s up to you. We’ve been given this supposed right to privacy-a right to do what we want that keeps the government out of our business. First it was birth control and then it was abortion. Who is the government to tell me whether or not I can prevent conception? Who is it to tell me I even want a child if I get pregnant? Let me make those decisions on my own. Ok. It’s a deal.

Cocaine, hashish, shrooms, opium, etc. are naturally occurring substances. Yes, some are modified, but most come from naturally occurring plants. As opposed to unnaturally occurring plants. Huh? Nevermind. If we have this “right to privacy,” a right to “terminate a fetus,” a right to do what I want with my own body, why can’t I enjoy getting high? It’s illegal to drive drunk or be publicly intoxicated. Fine, let me be intoxicated by drugs in my own house like I can be with alcohol. Why don’t we need an Amendment to ban drug use? I already know the answer. No, wait-I don’t.

We currently need an Amendment to ban abortion, but still nothing about drugs. We let people destroy their lives with alcohol but for some reason, it is so much worse to do that with drugs that we need to put restraints on their use. Someone is wrong somewhere. Who is it? You already have your own presuppositions about these things. You now need to correct your thinking so you are consistent.

I know, I wasn’t funny and I wasn’t sick. I was honest though. That’s got to count for something.