I Want to Fit In

Politically Incorrect Social Studies

Social Security=Sexual Sensations

Posted by iwanttofitin on February 19, 2007

Not really. More like the complete opposite is true, that is if Social Security had anything to do with sex. I confess. It was an attention grabbing headline. That’s funny. I’m not writing for a newspaper. I meant “title.” In case you were wondering, I will be discussing Social Security in much sincerity and earnestness. Redundant, I know, but that’s how important this is to me and you.

What is so impressive about SS is that we care so much about our elderly alzheimer patients that my whole working life is devoted to paying for their care. I love it and so should you. You should be ashamed of yourself if you don’t work harder to provide more and more. Think of it as community service. You are bettering our society by providing for someone who didn’t think to plan ahead.

God is most impressed. He only requires 10% of our wages, but the government has placed itself in a position higher than God and I’m sure He’s most pleased with that. I love the fact that around 15.3% or so of my monthly wages goes to pay for someone else’s life. Oh yes, 15.3%, not the 7.5% you hear about. That other 7.5% is paid by your employer, but who is the government kidding when they tell you that? That 7.5% is factored in when you get hired. You’d be making 7.5% more if your employer didn’t pay it. I love it even more that we care that much for our slothful retirees. I have no problem giving up 7.5% up front of my earning power for the betterment of our world.

Ok, the government takes more than God in our SS. Add in the income tax, sales tax, property tax, ad-valorem tax, Medicare tax, state taxes, etc. and you really dont get to take home much, do you? God is most satisfied. Don’t complain. We live in the most free country in the world after you submit to the government and send your children to schools that you have no control over. Don’t like the school your child goes to? Stop whining, you’ll still send your children there and pay your taxes like a good socialist and love it. We even have ownership of property…if you pay your taxes. But we should all be so willing to do that since we are given the privelege of purchasing it in the first place. Government, you’re welcome that I take care of my property but still have to pay you to use it. Love it.

The elderly can sleep well every night knowing that I’m paying for their mortgage, clothes, medical bills, food, perms, Cadillacs, wrap-around sunglasses, and Metamucil.

I love my grandmothers to death, and it’s a good feeling to know that they saved enough money not to have to rely on SS. That’s my goal, because there won’t be SS to rely on. Notice Social Security is similar to the SS in Nazi Germany? It isn’t but it sure sounds more evil that way. Also, I didn’t have a specific point in writing this. I’d consider this a creative writing assignment for myself that didn’t turn out too well. But it was still fun to write. Hope you enjoyed reading about some of lovely thing that SS provides us.

 

-Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Attention!
Heil, Hitler!

-Heil, Hitler!
Droppen Sie dead.

-Quiet! We are indoctrinating!
Is you all indoctrinated?

-Jawohl.

-Is you all good Nazis?

-Jawohl.

-Is you all little Adolfs?

-Jawohl!

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