I Want to Fit In

Politically Incorrect Social Studies

Roommate Wanted: Part 1

Posted by iwanttofitin on February 21, 2007

So, I’ve been blessed with many friends over the years who have had roommates. I’ve been even more blessed by the fact that they have all had at least one crazy roommate. Today, I’d like to share some experiences these sorry souls have given me. Some are gained from a live-in source. Others are from my actual presence.

Not too long ago, I was good friends with a girl who had some wonderful roommates. I’d come over and we’d all get along great. We even hung out together a few times. All of us were friends, except one. She was a recluse. I’m sure many of you have had this type of roommate before. It’s no surprise that the only person who saw her on a regular basis was her boyfriend. This happens a lot.

The big shocker came when she was no-where to be found. Her boyfriend was on the phone with her parents and we were told to break into her room to make sure she is ok. Sigh of relief. Her suitcase was gone. That’s nice. She took a little trip somewhere without telling anyone.

To make a story a lot cooler, we found out she had flown to some Northern state to visit her lesbian lover. Whoa. Didn’t see that coming. Things got even stranger when her lover showed up out of thin air to help her pack up her things. Not only did this roommate ditch her boyfriend for a woman, she quit talking to her parents, dropped out of college, and moved in with her knew “partner.”

In case you were wondering, the new girlfriend was not a looker. You’d have to wonder if she was even human.

The “best” part about this whole situation is that we got to see some very disgusting, yet hilarious “Glamour Shots” of the two. It was one of those moments where that one thing is so awful you should be looking away, but you have to look. I relished every moment. Then, one day a new roommate arrived who looked half-way normal. Boy was I wrong.

New Roommate, or RM for short, moved in and was the nice and chatty type. A little too chatty for my taste but, whatever. The first night I “met” her should have told me something. I was over at the Apt. watching a movie when RM comes home with two guys. They are all obviously wasted and high. I say “Hello” and we all introduce ourselves. They then immediately go to her room and shut the door. A few days later when I’m back, I start talking to her after she answers the door in a towel. Niiiice! Not really. She disgusted me with every word that poured out of her mouth. Why are you talking to me, ho? Oh, and she was a ho. She might as well have installed a revolving door and put a sign on her door, “RM Brothel.” Those two guys that I talked about. She had just met them. The 1,000 other guys going through her door every week. Oh, she just met them too. Needless to say, I didn’t go over there much after that. Too weird for me. If I wanted to visit a brothel, I’m sure the ones in Vegas are much cleaner.

This is the end of Part 1. Stay tuned for Part 2 of “Roommate Wanted.”

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One Response to “Roommate Wanted: Part 1”

  1. Leslie said

    gotta love my residents from last year. i really enjoyed the panic call of the missing roommates parents. and even more enjoyed the pot-smoker hooker and having to deal with that. i love my job.

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