I Want to Fit In

Politically Incorrect Social Studies

Girls Love Auto Responses

Posted by iwanttofitin on March 2, 2007

by someone who has spent infinitely more time in college than I,

Its a well documented fact by facebook. Girls LOVE to not actually read/listen…they just love the attention of having a guy post on their wall.

Now ladies, before you bomb me with preprogrammed responses to this…allow me to explain. I’m somewhat of a nosy person. True story. If I see that someone posted on someone else’s wall on my newsfeed and it appears humorous or interesting, I’ll check the wall to wall. Invasion of privacy? sorry, my give-a-poo is broken. Now sometimes I’m delightfully entertained or informed from this snooping.

But more often than not I find that a guy is actually saying something…and the girl responds with certain styles of ready made statements.

The first is “I have no idea what your talking about, so ill just try to pump your ego and tell you I love you.” These are particularly misleading, and I might venture that it is intentional. The sub-tone is “thanks for writing on my wall. It clearly means you want to do me, but you’re actually not attractive but I’ll keep you in my back pocket in case I’m at a party and want to hook up…you’ll be an easy target.”

In the same manner, there’s the “”I have no idea what your talking about, so I’ll say something about how we should hang out soon, but I have ZERO intention of ever doing it….on purpose.” Now if you’re a guy fluent in girl-ese, you can translate this even further to say “thanks for writing on my wall. It clearly means you want to do me…but I’m rather creeped out by you and don’t really want to see you, but in the event that we do, you wont be able to say I didn’t want to.”

But my favorite is the “I have no idea what your talking about, but I’ll cleverly use some of the same words you wrote so it seems as if I read it…and then say say how I love you or want to hang out soon…with no intention of ever doing it.”

Now please don’t misinterpret me… I’m not angry, disgusted or any other negative adjective, by these wonderful means of greasing the social track. Life is a stage, and we all have our part. everything comes in opposites, ying to the yang. light to the dark. sun to the rain. pain to the pleasure.

Not everyone was meant to be intense friends with everyone…and frankly I like keepin’ it real on the surface. As I am not a particularly open person, and would rather just goof off with everyone I meet, this suits me just fine. So tip the cups up, tell me how you love me and want to hang out. Who knows, we just might on accident and then I’ll entertain you with antics and outrageous discussions of which is better, a platypus or Neil Diamond. [Don’t think its possible to compare apples to oranges? Waaaaatch me!] Maybe I’ll even do a lil jig for ya.

What’s it matter what I do… you’re not really paying attention to whats going on, cuz its only implication is somehow that us males want to do you and that is enough for everyone.


One Response to “Girls Love Auto Responses”

  1. J.S. Melton said

    infinitely more time? ouch…

    its true though. me, van wilder and tommy boy. ive joined the echelon of mixed achievers.

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