I Want to Fit In

Politically Incorrect Social Studies

On the Road to Engagement: Part 1

Posted by iwanttofitin on March 8, 2007

Recently there have been a high number of friends and people I know who have and are getting engaged/married. No matter where I turn to-facebook or myspace-I have many “friends” who are no longer listed as just “in a relationship.” I’m happy for them, and for others ehh. I don’t really know all my “friends.” This whole engagement and marriage thing got me thinking about some important things and I feel it is my duty to share them. Sorry, I’m not going to be talking about myself specifically.

Through my acquirement of knowledge and wisdom throughout my 23 years it has been brought to my attention that the role guys play on the road to marriage is extensive and very burdensome. It is in my opinion that every step of the dating process is what causes men to have a shorter life-span than women. Stress can shave years off of your life and while marriage is stressful, the stress is (in theory) spread evenly between the two who are married together.

Part 1will deal with the initial stage. The “Extremely awkward” stage.

Women can complain all they want about how stressful the whole process is for them. There is the waiting, accepting or denying dates, saying yes to the proposer, wedding planning, etc. For the guy though, there is much more heart enlargening discomfort.

The road to engagement begins with that first introduction. For simplicity I’m sticking with a guy walking up to a girl and introducing himself. Ok, so you see this hotty at church (duh, were you thinking a bar?) and decide to introduce yourself. Maybe she wants to go with you to Starbucks so you can discuss how cool college youth group is (They have free pizza). Your heart has already skipped a beat waiting for some kind of rejection. What happens if you have nothing to say after “Hi, my name is Love Muffin. And you are”? Don’t worry, it went well and she even gave you her number when you asked for it. She had a smile on her face too. What a lucky guy. After all is said and done, you’ve lost a whole year of life in your attempt at securing this prize for marriage, whether you know it or not.

Now that you have her number, what are you supposed to do? How many days should I wait? One, two, a month? I’ll give a little tip right here. One day is too soon. A week is too long-are you even interested in her? The trick is not acting desperate. Don’t make her think you want a girlfriend and you’ll be fine. You’ll still be nervous as hell though. On with what I was talking about. So you wait three days and get ready to pick up the phone. Wait. What will we talk about? My heart’s already pounding. Do I ask her on a date? Do we just talk? I know, I’ll take it as it comes. Oh great, I need a towel because the phone is covered in my hand sweat. Ugh, why can’t she just call me? That’s right, I’m supposed to take the initiative and do the pursuing.

After the first few awkward introductory sentences, the two of you are chatting away and you have decided that since you two seem to have some commonality that you’ll ask her on a simple dinner date. Wow, she’s ecstatic! I would be too. You’re a charmer. The date is set and all you have to do now is decide where to eat. The conversation is done. You can now go to the bathroom and relieve yourself. The most awkward part is out of the way. Rejoice in the fact that you now have lost a total of 2 years off your life. Love it.

Stay tuned for part 2…and 3…and maybe 4. I’ll take it as it comes.

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