I Want to Fit In

Politically Incorrect Social Studies

Get All Hott and Sexy for the Beach: Men

Posted by iwanttofitin on March 9, 2007

Every year about Spring Break time, guys wishing they had spent the winter working on their bods and blah blah blah. Every workout article begins like this. I’ll get to the point. Beach muscles are just that. They’re only good for the beach and they take too much time to develop. Beach muscles aren’t big or very useful. Why not work on something that gives your overall body a better appearance and enormous strength and stability? While those baby butt boys show off what they spent the past year acquiring, you can show off your manly Greek god physique that will make women think you were born that way. Women would rather have a naturally strong guy than a honey bun gym douche.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketTo get those tig ol’ bitties, bulging biceps, rocking deltoids, and egg crate abs (being a little more creative than “washboard”) you have to spend many months working on those muscles with specific exercises to really get them to shine and stun. And then if you want your body to look proportionate you’ve got to work on getting some oak tree legs and some slabs of meat on your back. You don’t want to be top or front heavy. Not only is that bad for overall stability but you’ll look like an alien. You’ll get the looks but they won’t be the kind you want.

It takes a good 6 months to a year with proper diet and training to put on 20-30 pounds of muscle while working on those beach muscles. Let’s face it. Most of your weight comes from your legs so you’re talking 10 pounds to 15 pounds at the extreme being packed on to the rest of your body.

Maybe you only have a month to get in shape for the beach or some softball tournament your girlfriend wants you to help out in. Hey, it’s coed, why complain? There are 3 exercises, that if done properly, WILL add 10 pounds of muscles to your frame a month for 3 months.

Here they are:

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketSquat: This is the mother of all exercises. And I mean mother %*&$@#. It’s a beast. Not many people look forward to squats as a form of personal enjoyment. When done right, they hurt, but it is the best pain you’ll feel. You know that the weakness and gelatin like feeling you get afterwards means you did them correctly. Your muscles are going to grow. Squats are a whole body effort. You aren’t just using your legs and butt. All your stabilizer muscles are being used to keep the weight from knocking you over. Your arms, shoulders, and back are supporting the weight. Lastly, your abs and lowers back are doing the most stabilizing out of all your muscles. Everything gets a workout. The best way to do squats for maximum strength and muscle gain is the following:

Do 1 set of 20 reps. That’s it. Exciting huh? You’ll hate it so much you’ll love it. You’ll think about your one set all day long to prepare you for the most painful experience you’ll ever endure. It sucks so bad because you’ll want to quit but you mentally force yourself to complete all 20. This is how it works. You pick a weight you normally squat 8-10 times…and do it 20 times. When you get to reps 12-15 your body will be telling you its had enough. Put it down. Hell NO!! Lift that iron up! As your body is screaming bloody murder, your head starts getting light, and you want to puke, but you have to finish. If you don’t, you’re a pansy. The trick is to take deep breaths in-between each rep. The further along you get in the set, the more breaths you’ll take before doing another rep. Once you finish the set you’re done. Fall on the floor and recuperate, because you probably won’t be able to stand.

If you absolutely can’t PHYSICALLY complete the set, let the squat rack catch the bar. The next day you train, just use the same weight. As a warning, ONLY USE A SQUAT RACK with the ability for pins are bars to catch the weight if you get stuck at the bottom. Oh, and a leg press machine is no good for this exercise. Only free weight squats will work.

What you’ve done is shocked your body hardcore. It’ll work overtime to grow muscle so that it can accommodate that weight much more easily. Next time you do the squats, you add 5 pounds. Basically what you’re saying to your body is “Screw you! Build more muscle.” Do these squats 2 or 3 times a week for 3 months and you will easily put on 30 pounds alone from them.

Bench Press: You need a pushing movement. The next exercise will be a pulling and the bench press will give you strength in the front to balance out your back strength. Pick a weight you can do 8 times. Do a set of 8 and the another set of 8 for a total of 2 sets of 8. The next time you do them, just add 5 pounds. It’s the same principle as the squats. You might not be able to add 5 pounds every time because some days you won’t be able to complete both sets of 8. You’re pecks are a much smaller muscle group than your legs. They are harder to strengthen and recuperate.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketPull Ups: This is the last exercise to do. There’s no reason to do 20 different exercises to make your back look good. Simple pull ups is good enough. Not many people can do a pull up with their own body weight. Work to that first and then work your way up to 12-15 reps a set. Once you reach that point, start adding weight. You’ve never seen your back look that good.

For some an in-depth explanation on how to do a proper pull-up check out this site

Ok, 3 simple exercises that will make you look manly. It takes all of an hour to do these three exercises if you rest a lot in between each one. You could do them all in 30 minutes if you wanted to take short rest breaks. Try to train 3 times a week and eat a TON of calories. Your body will want them and you must consume them along with large amounts a protein. Your muscles use protein to grow so feed them. If you don’t consume a lot of calories and protein, your muscles will not grow and you won’t progress very well. Use a weight gainer or protein powder if needed. Lastly, get a good nights sleep. Your muscles need rest just like you do and they do most of their growing while sleeping.

Get some sexy honies at the beach.


One Response to “Get All Hott and Sexy for the Beach: Men”

  1. Catie said

    mmm love it.

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