I Want to Fit In

Politically Incorrect Social Studies

On the Road to Engagement: Part 3

Posted by iwanttofitin on March 21, 2007

We’re at the end of this series and you know what? I’m kind of glad. I’ve been putting this last entry off because no one seems to care about these types of posts. The most popular stuff is my most ridiculous posts. Anyway, on with the rest.

It’s sad, in a way, that guys have to endure the anxiety of the pursuit at the expense of their life span. Girls really need to sit down and thank the man they are married to that he loves you so much that he was willing to forgo 5-10 years of his life just to be with you. Think about that. Guys could have a longer lifespan if they never married. Awesome! I need to think about that one.

You’ve spent last few, who really knows how many, months getting to know each other and you realize something-I’m going to marry this little lady. That’s a big step. Can I say something real quick? Of course. I’ve never been engaged, but I’d like think if you didn’t know 100% for sure that this girl is going to say yes and that she loves you, you shouldn’t ask. If she has to think about it, you’re asking for trouble down the road. The time you’ve spent together has felt like ages, I’m sure. Just wait until you realize you spend the rest of your life with this person. A year doesn’t seem like such a long time now does it?

Now you’ve got to plan this whole asking thing out. But first you decide to do it right and ask her parents for their blessing/permission. It’s the smart thing to do. They know it’s coming. At least they should. Hopefully they know your name. You decide to take them to a nice restaurant to soften them up a little bit and hopefully engage in some conversation to break the ice. Whoops, the first thing out of your mouth is, “I want to marry your daughter. I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her.” Your heart explodes out of your chest and you just lost 3 years of your life. Another year is lost just waiting for a response. Whew! You get their blessing. They even pay for the meal! You figured that would happen anyway. That’s why you picked Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse. All that is left is to figure out a way to get the message on the billboard.

You’ve got the greatest plan anyone has ever thought of. You’re going to find a billboard on the busiest street she frequents and plant a “Will you marry me _______”? sign on it. How romantic is that? Who wouldn’t want 10,000 people to see it before your, hopefully soon-to-be, fiancee does? Exactly. Coolest idea ever. The billboard is on her way to work. Perfect. You can just drop her off at work one morning as a nice gesture and she can say “yes” on the way there.

So you’re driving and your heart is pounding along with the car. You’re so nervous you can’t keep your foot on the pedal very steadily. The car tends to accelerate and decelerate sporadically. Whatever, that’s the last thing on your mind. You approach the billboard and point it out. Son of a %#*%$! You forgot to put your name on it. She reads it and you obviously explain to her that you put it up there. She sits there (in her mind she’s calling you an idiot but she does want to marry you) and the years are ticking away as you wait for an answer. “Yes!” There. It’s done. She’s said yes. Through this whole ordeal you’ve lost more like 15 years off your life. Oh well. She was worth it. You hope.

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One Response to “On the Road to Engagement: Part 3”

  1. Catie said

    really? a billboard? that’s the lamest way of doing it i’ve ever heard of.

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