I Want to Fit In

Politically Incorrect Social Studies

Even More Atheist and Evolutionist Idiocracy

Posted by iwanttofitin on March 21, 2007

Yesterday I posted a lot of atheist and evolutionist responses to my ridiculous article arguing against evolution based on how dogs go to the bathroom. 99% of the responses took me seriously and gave comments much longer than the original article. One thing I have learned from these comments is that if I eat more fiber, my poo won’t be as messy. Cool. Today I have decided to continue with more of these comments. The first set comes from “Dogs Poo Better Than Humans.” Again, these are not edited for any type of content. Be warned.

Donna,

I read the comments and as well as the difference caused by feces scraping against buttocks, I have this to add…

Other animals squat to poo, which is the natural position. As you can see, this means there’s nothing in the way of the excreta when the animal is turding. We sit on toilets which means the muscles of the gluteus maximus are relaxed, creating further obstruction. Especially if the turder happens to be morbidly obese.

Finally, there’s also the subject of diet – if you eat unhealthily, then more than likely you won’t poo out goodly formed shit. Sometimes you cover the toilet bowl with spray.

Mike,

This is intended as a wind-up. Yes!!

You mean there are people who think this is an argument? It is crap.

Humans claim to be at the top of the evolution tree because of our brains (although iwanttofitin makes me wonder). This gave us an advantage over other species who could run faster, see further, hear better and shit more cleanly.

Our brains enabled us to make clothes, build houses, develop weapons and discover loo paper, hence superior physical strength, faster legs, sharper claws and teeth, and the attributes iwanttofitin is so obsessed with.

Either make walking the dog interesting by playing with him or get rid of him, your current relationship with the poor mutt is deeply worrying.

The Devil I Am,

Mike said the article was crap. I’d imagine iwanttofitin would take this as a compliment and say, “Yes, it’s all about crap–thanks for reading! I’m glad _somebody_ appreciates my advances in
crapology.”

I don’t think humans are superior to dogs in every given way. Dogs are better with the environment, obviously, and often have better personalities–and judging from some of the people we’ve seen on this forum, if not smarter, they can be a lot less stupid. Humans are
probably one of the stinkiest animals alive without deodorant–but the sister of evolution is degeneration. Evolution and degeneration are never mutually exclusive and affect each others’ progress. If you understand how evolution works, stinky traits would obviously have a
better chance of passing on with the existence of soaps and deodorants. The human race, because of medical technology, is likely to degenerate in some ways because previously undesirable traits are becoming less important. Of course, this degeneration is not exclusive
from our technological advances which creates a kind of compensation.

Rappoccio,

Ultimately the fundamental flaw in this argument is the question of something being “more evolved” than something else. This is a fallacy. Humans are not the pinnacle of evolution, no more than fruit flies are. Every species that exists in an environment that survives is evolved enough to survive in that environment, so that’s all evolution takes care of.

Emo Fan,

you guys know the topic creator posted that as a joke, right?

Apparently not.

David Hammond,

Excellent and well-reasoned argument. It’s a worthy contender for the other great disproof of evolution: the banana.

As you may be aware, the banana simply couldn’t have evolved by chance. It is too perfect. It fits perfectly in the human hand. It curves toward your mouth. It’s easy to open and peels back cleanly. It tastes good and is good for you. It provides a great indicator of how ripe it is (green = not yet, yellow = ripe, black = too old). The insides are completely seedless. It’s perfect.

“If it’s seedless, how does it reproduce?”

Um…

Uh………

Erm…………..

Answer: Supermarket bananas (called Cavendish bananas) cannot reproduce. They don’t grow in the wild. They are, in fact, intelligently designed — by humans! Wild bananas are oddly shaped,
kind of squashy, hard to open (you have to bite into it in order to open it), the insides are full of these big pits, it doesn’t taste very good and isn’t as good for you, and when they’re fully ripe
they’re blotchy green, brown, and black.

Cavendish bananas didn’t used to be the typical supermarket bananas. 60 years ago you would find Gros Michel bananas in supermarkets, but they were all wiped out by Panama disease in the 1950s. Why? Because they were all basically clones of each other and thus had no genetic
diversity, so none of them had evolved a resistance to the fungus. Cavendish is likewise cloned, and there happens to be a new variant of the Panama disease wiping out crops of Cavendish all around the world as we speak. Scientists are currently working on developing a new kind
of banana before the Cavendish also goes extinct.

Good thing evolution happens or it would be this easy for something to wipe out every last human in existence.

Er, I mean… dog poo = intelligent design.

SJAB 1958,

After having started to read the said article, I wonder to myself why this person seems to be obsessed with their dog’s anal activities. And rather than pushing someone away from evolution it should make them realize that if we are the pinnacle of God’s creation, why didn’t He
give us humans such a brilliant bit of design for our rear ends? And if you consider the aquatic ape theory in which it is posited that we became modified as a result of a semi-aquatic phase in human evolution, our non-pinching off anus makes more sense in as much as while swimming the water would clean us off.

Bob Casanova,

A bit parody-challenged today, are we? No surprise; to paraphrase Clarke “Any sufficiently irrational parody is indistinguishable from Real Biblical Literalism”.

The next comments come from “Why God HAS to Exist. I guess all the responses come from ugly people. That’s just my guess.

Jeckyl,

There is nothing interesting about it .. its just a load of rubbish. Writing ‘that is why god exists’ in the middle of such rubbish does not make it so.

Inez,

I recommend reading some essays that are actually funny so you can see how wit works.

Lucifer,

Beer. Works every time.

This next person is obviously ugly.

Blazing,

This is just as dumb as the dog-poo essay. But not as funny.

Among some animals, the alpha-male is the one who mates with all the females, all the other males are frustrated. Among humans, that’s only true in high school.

If you really believed in God you’d believe that the beauty of people is not all on the outside.

Style4Aly,

Speaking as an ugly person, I can tell you that some women are attracted to more than just flesh (not many, I’ll grant you, but some). Brains, Understanding, Love, Lust, Sensitivity, Humor, Interest, and Talent go a long way.

Vend,

Money.

Lucifer,

Naturally. Usually, however, I am the victim of the beer plying, not the perpetrator :p

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